'Criminal' review: Criminally bad despite Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman and Tommy Lee JonesMay 13(AZINS) Film: Criminal

Director: Ariel Vromen

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman, Gal Godot, Tommy Lee Jones

What it's about

Bill Pope (Reynolds) is a hotshot CIA agent based in London. He's the sort of guy who looks the part, plays the part and the kind of people Langley hires just to make them look good... literally.

Anyway, he's assigned with delivering hard cash to hacker Jan Stroop (Michael Pitt) in return for a wormhole program that could be used to bring about a world-ending program, should the evil sorts get a hold of it.

Long story short, Pope gets killed. His boss Quaker Wells (Oldman) doesn't lose hope and manages to find super doc, Frank (Jones), who can switch super spy's memories to another living brain. Frank won't take anything lesser than Jericho's (Costner). Said guy is a 'criminal' on death row, who can't feel nothing anyway. Long story.

Anyway, operation ends, Frank calls it a failure when Jericho can't remember a thing. Minutes later, Bill's memories kick in and Jericho kicks his way out and escapes. He has three days to figure out where Jan is (only Bill Pope knew) and get the program from him before he sells it to the Russians. Will he reach Jan in time?

What's hot

The golden oldies in the cast were last together in Oliver Stone's JFK. It's sort of nostalgic to see them together again.

Yes. That's it.

What's not

Imagine a film with this cast being made in this day and age with the most inane action film premise ever put to screen. Imagine a convoluted plot winding its way to conclusion for a little under two hours. Imagine Costner in one of his most painful performances ever. In a role, Nicolas Cage supposedly turned down.

What to do

It should be a criminal offence to be asked to watch this film. You're better off watching Face/Off instead.

Rating: *1/2